Underneath the mask: When you can’t feel the fun in the moment, was it actually fun?

Originally published on Medium

Did I have fun?

Well I was out of my house on a Saturday with people my age.

It was past 6 pm. And we went to the square downtown where I know lots of people usually go to hang out on weekend nights. We ate tacos at a Tex-mex restaurant and laughed a lot. People kept looking at us and smiling like “Look at those young people socialize.” We must have looked like lots of fun.

So yeah, I guess they had fun.

Oh wait.

You asked if I had fun…

Hey, so weird question for you.

Do you just, like, feel that you had fun? Like you just get a feeling and know you had fun?

You do.

Huh.

Do I?

Well yeah of course, but for some reason it usually doesn’t involve other people. Other-people-fun requires more thinking to find the fun feeling.

(I’ve said the word ‘fun’ too many times and now it’s lost all meaning.)